loving it

well, i do miss my kids.  don't take what i'm getting ready to say as something that diminishes that basic feeling.  but, while i am missing them, i am finding it possible to make a life here by myself. i am finding that i am content with my puttering and bill paying and watering and talking to the dogs and writing and reading and simply wearing a really comfy but not altogether appropriate choice of clothes. i eat when i want.  i don't have to worry that there's enough food in the house.  it's oddly relaxing.  in a way that i have not experienced.....maybe since i was single.  extended time.  to do.  to be.  to find who i am.  to express myself.  to do things or not do things.  work late.  work early.  take the middle of the day off to relax during the heat.  be a bit of a hermit..and not feel like i should be conversing with my kids.
so, i miss them every moment and at the same time, i am enjoying every moment.  yet another paradox of life.
i am getting ready to teach.  having joyful thoughts and moments as i think some things through.  mostly just praying for my students..though names unknown.  it's going to be a blessing.
and i'm giddy for vacation.  yeppers. a time with my favorite people.  and with the ocean.  i'm easily entertained that be true.
hope that you are finding a way to find contentment where you are.  i know how hard it can be.
blessings.