ok, i'm done living excessively. i have done so since my ex has left. i needed to say yes to me. ot my kids. say yes to getting to choose and for the answer to be able to be yes and not always no...or yes with guilt attached. and i now will get to pay off those choices. and yet...i don't regret them. i needed that for a time. and now i know what is important to me money wise. i know what i like to do and what matters. i know where i actually want to spend money and where i don't mind being more frugal. those have been good lessons. very good lessons.
information about myself is valued at this point since i lived so long in a reactionary state. proactive only in predicting what he needed or wanted. in what would keep the peace. i struggled with that. i did it. i made that choice. and now i need to learn to live proactively. choosing for now. choosing for the future. choosing what is most important. to give. to buy. to provide. i don't worry about the future. god has that. he will show me that as well. but how to best live. truly live.
money. it's just paper and metal. but it has a power to change people. especially by their view of it. so i want to be super wise. i pray for guidance. and for grace...as i will blow it regularly.
and though god has grace..i tend to beat myself up.
my ex has cost me loads this year in counting on him to be on time with payments. that's his little quirk...do exactly what he needs to do but not quite on time just as a little power play. and i have to let go of that too.
i am happy. so very happy.
all of the little things are slowly working themselves out. i am dedicated to living.
blessings.
information about myself is valued at this point since i lived so long in a reactionary state. proactive only in predicting what he needed or wanted. in what would keep the peace. i struggled with that. i did it. i made that choice. and now i need to learn to live proactively. choosing for now. choosing for the future. choosing what is most important. to give. to buy. to provide. i don't worry about the future. god has that. he will show me that as well. but how to best live. truly live.
money. it's just paper and metal. but it has a power to change people. especially by their view of it. so i want to be super wise. i pray for guidance. and for grace...as i will blow it regularly.
and though god has grace..i tend to beat myself up.
my ex has cost me loads this year in counting on him to be on time with payments. that's his little quirk...do exactly what he needs to do but not quite on time just as a little power play. and i have to let go of that too.
i am happy. so very happy.
all of the little things are slowly working themselves out. i am dedicated to living.
blessings.
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