Our lives are a journey that we walk together not in order to become "good christian women," but rather to draw near to God so that we can reflect His light to those around us. Our stories, our paths, our dreams and our message are all unique. But we hold hands and walk boldly, fearlessly......onward...creating joy, hope, faith and peace in our wake.

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

good morning

hi.  good morning.  look, it's a new day.  brand spanking new.  beautiful.  unique.  ready for new life.  and the great part is that yesterday doesn't overlap with it.  doesn't taint it.  doesn't make it less marvelous or spectacular.
i'm remembering.
it has been a rough week so far.  my ex wants to refinance the home that we rent out.  in the divorce agreement, i am fully responsible for it unless we sell.  and i don't know why it through me for a loop.  well, actually, i do now.  he wrote.  the bank that we are currently with called him...we are both on the loan...to see if we wanted to refinance.  this is the same bank that screwed up last year and took two payments, credited one back and lost the other one in cyber space.  it took a long time for them to sort it out and they used words like "we can't help what our computer sees"  when i said that i was tired of getting late payment calls.  late payments equal fees.  fees make the payments more in arrears.  by the time i found a local guy to take care of it...since their 800 number was a horrific experience....it said that i was five MONTHS in arrears.  they were not helpful.  my credit is still reeling.  it SUCKED.  for as bad as it was, i didn't whine too much.  but, i'll be damned if i'll REFINANCE with them.  i'm leaving it as it is for now because the whole fiasco left me limp and somewhat troubled.  but, eventually, when i don't feel like i'm constantly having something to attend to.  the time will come.  so, i wrote him and explained why i didn't want to do what he wanted to do.  and he didn't answer.  that was two days ago.  or so.
all of that going on...and then the "data" meeting at school that left me feeling like an imbecile.  i know that feelings aren't the facts.  but it was tough.  guess i've been needing some kudos.  i've kicked butt on some things at work with little to no acknowledgement.  and that's hard.  it didn't really seem so hard until i was being "knocked down to size" in the meeting.  the funny part is that she said that she wants to open up dialogue.  genuine dialogue.  about how to get better.  with all teachers.  to be able to talk to one another.  well, frankly....that pretty much showed me why it doesn't work. if you say what you need or tell the facts, there's no help, only a kick in the teeth that says that you should grow up and do it better.  wow.
so it has been a rough week.
but i have a new morning.
and i'm going to enjoy it.
lots.
i'm going to sing.
and pray.
and love.
and i'm going to soak up all of the good that comes my way and let the bad slide off.
cuz i don't know how many of these precious gifts of days i get to have.  but they are limited.  so i need to do good.  see good.  love Good .....yes, God.  who is good. ;)
but sometimes i wish that someone saw me. understood.  hugged.  heard.
but life is what it is.
so....onward.
blessings.

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