I wrote a note on a social network today saying that I'm single, that I chose it, that I recognize that others might have a problem with it, that I want to just put it out there to let people know where/who I am.......I did my best to tell only my part of the story. To not do anything that would harm my kids because they can read it. Nor other young people. I wasn't desiring people to agree or disagree. I just needed to let them have the chance to stay or go.
Brave or stupid? I'm not really sure. I just know that it was time. I needed to come out of hiding. For me. For my kids. For the sake of being able to walk around town or into church without having to tell each and every person. They don't have to like me. They don't have to not like me. But, I realized....they do have to choose something. Stay, go, silent, speaking. What is difficult is that knowing means having to make some kind of choice. And their choices will affect me. That's just how it is. That's ok. I'm determined to go fearlessly forward in my life. To live as if I am fearless. Even when I am not there yet. I will be.
Perfect love casts out fear. God's love. He gets it. He comforts. He sends comfort. And I get that He also judges. I will not stand before Him righteous in my own actions....only by Jesus. For each and every thought, action, deed, misdeed, inaction. Every single one. The total accumulation of a life of an unrighteous woman. With her only hope being Jesus. Period. But in the circles I have placed myself, divorce is worse than other things. Perhaps worse than adultery. Certainly worse than dishonoring your parents. Sarcasm implied.
Life is complex. Maybe I wrote for a wrong reason. But, I don't think so. I wrote to be open. To risk. To live fearlessly.
On I go.
blessings.
Brave or stupid? I'm not really sure. I just know that it was time. I needed to come out of hiding. For me. For my kids. For the sake of being able to walk around town or into church without having to tell each and every person. They don't have to like me. They don't have to not like me. But, I realized....they do have to choose something. Stay, go, silent, speaking. What is difficult is that knowing means having to make some kind of choice. And their choices will affect me. That's just how it is. That's ok. I'm determined to go fearlessly forward in my life. To live as if I am fearless. Even when I am not there yet. I will be.
Perfect love casts out fear. God's love. He gets it. He comforts. He sends comfort. And I get that He also judges. I will not stand before Him righteous in my own actions....only by Jesus. For each and every thought, action, deed, misdeed, inaction. Every single one. The total accumulation of a life of an unrighteous woman. With her only hope being Jesus. Period. But in the circles I have placed myself, divorce is worse than other things. Perhaps worse than adultery. Certainly worse than dishonoring your parents. Sarcasm implied.
Life is complex. Maybe I wrote for a wrong reason. But, I don't think so. I wrote to be open. To risk. To live fearlessly.
On I go.
blessings.
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