i am choosing to believe in my son. you know, the one that didn't ever really go out and look for a job but got asked to do odd jobs and eventually landed a job with a friend. the one that...i don't think i ever saw do any homework except for a few math problems in the car on the way to school. who wasn't particularly involved nor interested in high school. who has played video games for nearly two years straight. who doesn't go to bed until morning and is totally grumpy when he has to get up before 11.....or so.
THAT son. The one that I adore. Fight with. Push. But....finally realized that I just had to let him figure it out. And THAT son decided that he needed to go to college. That he WANTED to go to college. And study business.
And I could have said no. He didn't apply for scholarships. Or write essays. Or even do his own FAFSA. But there's this part of me that knows that what he really needs....is for his mom to believe that he can do what he sets his mind to. and that he might stumble a bit. but that he still needs to try.
and this choosing to believe. this putting everything on the line monetarily. it's strangely satisfying. because i know that he knows.....i held absolutely nothing back. i didn't bargain or bully. i gave. i loved. i helped.
and i hope that he finds exactly what he needs.
because i love him much. and dearly. just as he is.
and i believe in the man that is inside too.
gonna be a fun ride!
i'm glad that i risked getting on.
i know that some parents say not to, but hey, i get to choose what to do to the best of my ability. i might be totally wrong. but, at least i erred on the side of grace.
i mean, he may not have done a lot of spectacular academic things, but there are sure a lot of shady, unsavory things that he chose not to do. he is a pretty nice human being. who chooses sobriety and treating people with respect. he doesn't use people. he has a lot to admire.
and i choose to believe. not that he'll get it all right. not that he'll magically come to adore school. i choose to believe.....in him.
blessings.
THAT son. The one that I adore. Fight with. Push. But....finally realized that I just had to let him figure it out. And THAT son decided that he needed to go to college. That he WANTED to go to college. And study business.
And I could have said no. He didn't apply for scholarships. Or write essays. Or even do his own FAFSA. But there's this part of me that knows that what he really needs....is for his mom to believe that he can do what he sets his mind to. and that he might stumble a bit. but that he still needs to try.
and this choosing to believe. this putting everything on the line monetarily. it's strangely satisfying. because i know that he knows.....i held absolutely nothing back. i didn't bargain or bully. i gave. i loved. i helped.
and i hope that he finds exactly what he needs.
because i love him much. and dearly. just as he is.
and i believe in the man that is inside too.
gonna be a fun ride!
i'm glad that i risked getting on.
i know that some parents say not to, but hey, i get to choose what to do to the best of my ability. i might be totally wrong. but, at least i erred on the side of grace.
i mean, he may not have done a lot of spectacular academic things, but there are sure a lot of shady, unsavory things that he chose not to do. he is a pretty nice human being. who chooses sobriety and treating people with respect. he doesn't use people. he has a lot to admire.
and i choose to believe. not that he'll get it all right. not that he'll magically come to adore school. i choose to believe.....in him.
blessings.
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