Courage My Love

So many times there are things that need said.  Thoughts that need let out.  So many times, I listen to others or answer benign questions.  Keeping things safely superficial for them.  But I think that they need to know some things.  Need to know that I'm not bitter but that it has been a long time and I've all but disappeared without being sought out.  And that........I understand.  That I wanted to talk to them in the very beginning.  That I wanted to let it all out.  But it never worked out that way.  There were roadblocks.  And those must have been the way they kept themselves safe.
So, I will love.  Still care.  But I have to go on and find relationships that don't feel like I've chosen second best.  That don't feel like I'm without cause.
Not easy.  Grace to my words.  Gentleness.  May my heart be ever kind.  People can only give what they can.  Period.
And yet, I can move on and be happy.  Be strong.  Be completely and gloriously gracious.  Without giving up who I am or changing to make others happier.  But I can also....not expect them to change either.
Courage my love....you're going to need it.