The whole suicide thing right at the end of my street has really had me thinking about life. And about how to CHANGE life. I think that sometimes it seems easier to END life than to change it. But, not really. Because it takes away the one thing that the world needs...you. It's not just that you DO things. Or ACCOMPLISH things. Or are POPULAR. Or make a lot of MONEY."
Perhaps it's your relationships you feel you need to change. With your....kids, parents, spouse, business associates, boss, significant other, friends. Or perhaps it is your circumstances.....job, dwelling place, state, car situation, drinking, drugs. All of the things I've listed can need change. Can need HUGE change. But, that's not where your focus should be. Because the biggest focus of all, especially when you are overwhelmed and depressed should be....yourself. I know, it's not the norm to say that. It's true that getting your mind off of your problems by getting involved in the outside world is ALSO very helpful. It is therapeutic. What I'm talking about is where to put your problem solving energy. It seems as if so many people put all of the energy into obsessing about huge circumstances or relationships that are going or have gone wrong. They want to change them. They want to fix the problem. The thing is that you are only able to change one part of the equation.....YOURSELF.
I am not advocating self centeredness. I am advocating putting energy and resources toward something that you can actually affect. If you feel like a victim, change it. If you feel wronged, do something about it. Nope, not with the other person. Start with you. With your feelings. With your health. With your hopes. With who you WANT to be. Look closely. See who you ACTUALLY are. Then, be nice to yourself. Love yourself right there. You have purpose. You have ability. If there are parts you don't like then set about either changing them or embracing them. You either have to change HOW you are or how you FEEL about how you are. For instance, if you are 20 pounds overweight, you either set about changing that or learning to love how you are. If you want to change it, I don't recommend a full out change everything at once diet. Do one thing at a time. Add exercise. A couple days a week. Then three or four days. Then add some fruit and veggies. Don't think about what not to eat....just also put in the good. Drink at least a gallon of water a day. Eat some good stuff. Make sure you get plenty of protein. Stay away from things that are labelled "diet". Instead just make better choices. Have nuts. Fruits. Fruit or veggie smoothies. Enjoy a protein drink. Have and Inta' Juice. Drink tea. Eat yogurt. Do things that you CAN do. When I've done this, there comes a moment when I realize that I prefer the stuff that is making me feel better. My desire to eat crap diminishes. But, if I want some....I have it.
Or maybe you have a temper. Start by learning to say you are sorry. Every time. And, learn to direct your frustrations somewhere else. Like....again....exercise. I am not meaning classes or anything too hard. I mean....take a walk, ride a bike, do some situps and push ups. Keep it simple. Do what you like. Go dancing. Join a volleyball group at a church. Play basketball with the kids. Play soccer. Walk the dog. Run behind the stroller. Whatever it is that gets your heart pumping and the endorphines flowing. What you do won't look like what anyone else does. Get over it. Do YOUR thing. Again...focus on you getting better. Become the person you want to be.
Or maybe you are lazy. I know, right? Make a goal for each day. A little something. Clean out a drawer. Write a letter. Do one thing. Then after awhile....make it two. Things that keep you from the tv and get you doing the things that are important to you. When depressed, this is hard to do. Trust me...one little thing each day is a big step. If you miss a day. If you GASP....fail....don't sweat it...there's tomorrow to try again. That's the lovely thing about choosing to live....you get to keep trying.
While you are focusing on you, something kind of amazing happens. It's like a miracle without any intervention. The other things in life seem to change. But, they don't. It's YOU that changes. And the more you change, the more power you gain to make more changes. To make DECISIONS that effect you. To do the things that are important within circumstances and relationships. Sometimes it means making really hard choices. But as you grow stronger....you are able to.
Yes, changes ARE needed. Life seems a mess. Don't start with the messes. Start with you. It's the one part of the mess that you can actually make a difference in.
grace to you.
Perhaps it's your relationships you feel you need to change. With your....kids, parents, spouse, business associates, boss, significant other, friends. Or perhaps it is your circumstances.....job, dwelling place, state, car situation, drinking, drugs. All of the things I've listed can need change. Can need HUGE change. But, that's not where your focus should be. Because the biggest focus of all, especially when you are overwhelmed and depressed should be....yourself. I know, it's not the norm to say that. It's true that getting your mind off of your problems by getting involved in the outside world is ALSO very helpful. It is therapeutic. What I'm talking about is where to put your problem solving energy. It seems as if so many people put all of the energy into obsessing about huge circumstances or relationships that are going or have gone wrong. They want to change them. They want to fix the problem. The thing is that you are only able to change one part of the equation.....YOURSELF.
I am not advocating self centeredness. I am advocating putting energy and resources toward something that you can actually affect. If you feel like a victim, change it. If you feel wronged, do something about it. Nope, not with the other person. Start with you. With your feelings. With your health. With your hopes. With who you WANT to be. Look closely. See who you ACTUALLY are. Then, be nice to yourself. Love yourself right there. You have purpose. You have ability. If there are parts you don't like then set about either changing them or embracing them. You either have to change HOW you are or how you FEEL about how you are. For instance, if you are 20 pounds overweight, you either set about changing that or learning to love how you are. If you want to change it, I don't recommend a full out change everything at once diet. Do one thing at a time. Add exercise. A couple days a week. Then three or four days. Then add some fruit and veggies. Don't think about what not to eat....just also put in the good. Drink at least a gallon of water a day. Eat some good stuff. Make sure you get plenty of protein. Stay away from things that are labelled "diet". Instead just make better choices. Have nuts. Fruits. Fruit or veggie smoothies. Enjoy a protein drink. Have and Inta' Juice. Drink tea. Eat yogurt. Do things that you CAN do. When I've done this, there comes a moment when I realize that I prefer the stuff that is making me feel better. My desire to eat crap diminishes. But, if I want some....I have it.
Or maybe you have a temper. Start by learning to say you are sorry. Every time. And, learn to direct your frustrations somewhere else. Like....again....exercise. I am not meaning classes or anything too hard. I mean....take a walk, ride a bike, do some situps and push ups. Keep it simple. Do what you like. Go dancing. Join a volleyball group at a church. Play basketball with the kids. Play soccer. Walk the dog. Run behind the stroller. Whatever it is that gets your heart pumping and the endorphines flowing. What you do won't look like what anyone else does. Get over it. Do YOUR thing. Again...focus on you getting better. Become the person you want to be.
Or maybe you are lazy. I know, right? Make a goal for each day. A little something. Clean out a drawer. Write a letter. Do one thing. Then after awhile....make it two. Things that keep you from the tv and get you doing the things that are important to you. When depressed, this is hard to do. Trust me...one little thing each day is a big step. If you miss a day. If you GASP....fail....don't sweat it...there's tomorrow to try again. That's the lovely thing about choosing to live....you get to keep trying.
While you are focusing on you, something kind of amazing happens. It's like a miracle without any intervention. The other things in life seem to change. But, they don't. It's YOU that changes. And the more you change, the more power you gain to make more changes. To make DECISIONS that effect you. To do the things that are important within circumstances and relationships. Sometimes it means making really hard choices. But as you grow stronger....you are able to.
Yes, changes ARE needed. Life seems a mess. Don't start with the messes. Start with you. It's the one part of the mess that you can actually make a difference in.
grace to you.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Go ahead. Make my day. Leave me a comment.