Pain. I know a lot about it. Not simply from observing, but from experience. My body has experienced immense amounts of pain in the last decade. The thing that has always pushed me closest to the edge is the headaches that come with all of my musculoskeletal pain. It used to cause me so much distress in the night that I wasn't sure that I could make it. Pain like I can't even describe. With the horror of it being even worse when I try to sleep. And apparently, the most I can hope for is pain management. Which I do. But not with strong drugs. Not with any of those things you see on commercials with the long list of side effects.....I have enough troubles in my life.
So, what I have learned with pain is that the key to releasing the pain of joints and tendons is to stretch it. Move it differently than I typically move it. Hold it in a different position. Make it do something different. It's......uncomfortable. It's......really hard to do when I'm already hurting so much. And, it's always when I'm really exhausted and weary from dealing with the pain. But, I've learned that it helps, so I do it.
I've learned that it helps with pain in my emotional life too.....do something different. Behave differently. Make new decisions. It's hard. I'm worn out....tired. Hurting. But, it DOES help.
The other thing that I have learned is that my attitude is the biggest battle that I will ever fight. What I want to be. How I want to live. I could simply sit down and give up. I could just whine all of the time....I DO whine some of the time. I could give in. Sometimes I do. Cry and mope. But, most of the time, I STAND. I work hard to live as normally as possible. Pain and exhaustion aside, I choose to LIVE. And, the same in my emotional life. I could just say that I got a bum deal, that life isn't fair, that I am not going to do it anymore....but, instead, I work through WHO I really want to be. HOW I want to be. I desire compassion. I desire truth. I desire hope. I desire goodness. I desire peace. I want to BE more than I am today. I want to grow. I refuse to let anyone in the world take away that desire. And I refuse to take it away from myself by having a defeatist attitude.SPain is a part of my life. As I sit here writing, I HURT. Not a little discomfort...this is a rough night. But I want to write. I want to be a writer. I want to be committed to the things that are important to me even when I am afraid that I can't. I want to work through my fear. And, I want to be gentle enough with myself to be able to say no and to rest when I know I need to.
Tonight I will go to bed early enough to accommodate for awakening every 1-2 hours. And tomorrow, I will get up and face the day with the courage and peace that Jesus provides. I'm no superhero. Just a person who lives every day knowing that His strength truly IS perfected in my weakness. And the thing is, I have nothing to fear.....I NEVER disappoint nor surprise Him. He loves me and stays with me.
Pain is ever present. And so is the battle against it. Not to diminish it.....but to conquer the fear that it leaves in it's wake. Today I was victorious. I hope to be tomorrow as well. But, if I'm not....then I'll just get up and try it the next day. And the next after that. Until the end of my days.
grace to you.
So, what I have learned with pain is that the key to releasing the pain of joints and tendons is to stretch it. Move it differently than I typically move it. Hold it in a different position. Make it do something different. It's......uncomfortable. It's......really hard to do when I'm already hurting so much. And, it's always when I'm really exhausted and weary from dealing with the pain. But, I've learned that it helps, so I do it.
I've learned that it helps with pain in my emotional life too.....do something different. Behave differently. Make new decisions. It's hard. I'm worn out....tired. Hurting. But, it DOES help.
The other thing that I have learned is that my attitude is the biggest battle that I will ever fight. What I want to be. How I want to live. I could simply sit down and give up. I could just whine all of the time....I DO whine some of the time. I could give in. Sometimes I do. Cry and mope. But, most of the time, I STAND. I work hard to live as normally as possible. Pain and exhaustion aside, I choose to LIVE. And, the same in my emotional life. I could just say that I got a bum deal, that life isn't fair, that I am not going to do it anymore....but, instead, I work through WHO I really want to be. HOW I want to be. I desire compassion. I desire truth. I desire hope. I desire goodness. I desire peace. I want to BE more than I am today. I want to grow. I refuse to let anyone in the world take away that desire. And I refuse to take it away from myself by having a defeatist attitude.SPain is a part of my life. As I sit here writing, I HURT. Not a little discomfort...this is a rough night. But I want to write. I want to be a writer. I want to be committed to the things that are important to me even when I am afraid that I can't. I want to work through my fear. And, I want to be gentle enough with myself to be able to say no and to rest when I know I need to.
Tonight I will go to bed early enough to accommodate for awakening every 1-2 hours. And tomorrow, I will get up and face the day with the courage and peace that Jesus provides. I'm no superhero. Just a person who lives every day knowing that His strength truly IS perfected in my weakness. And the thing is, I have nothing to fear.....I NEVER disappoint nor surprise Him. He loves me and stays with me.
Pain is ever present. And so is the battle against it. Not to diminish it.....but to conquer the fear that it leaves in it's wake. Today I was victorious. I hope to be tomorrow as well. But, if I'm not....then I'll just get up and try it the next day. And the next after that. Until the end of my days.
grace to you.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Go ahead. Make my day. Leave me a comment.