Unanniversary

Here it is. My unanniversary. With no Internet. But they will fix it tomorrow. I am taking stock. Knowing what I've done well and what I need to change. What drew me and held me to someone that didn't even see me or like who I was? What compelled me to stay with someone who said that he was ashamed of me in front of his family and even went a step further and queried,"shouldn't I be?" But I stayed. I apologized. I promised to do better. I was an oaf. I didn't realize then that no matter what I did better, I would never please him. Being ashamed of someone doesn't lead to a good relationship nor does trying to prove that you should not be a source of shame to them. There's no love on that. Only control. But I let that go on. I view it as failure on my part when someone I love treats me badly or uses me. This I am changing. Slowly. I didn't get there quickly and I won't get out of it quickly. But with prayer and patience and grace I will heal from those years of trauma. I have come far. I am happy. Not always easy, but always wake up and go to sleep relieved.

I celebrate life. Living. Praying. Growing. I am blessed.