Alone

I have parented alone for a long time.  He plays.  He was around.  But parenting wasn't what he did.  Criticize?  Yes.  But stand beside for the long haul?  No.  And so, there are some bad habits, hard things, within my new family unit.  And honestly, tonight, I know that I am alone.  Nobody wants to hear it.  Nobody gets that some of my kids are reeling....not from divorce, but from having to live as if love is conditional upon performance.  So, I am stuck constantly.  If I try to speak truth in a kind fashion, it can hurt.  Even if it truly is put KINDLY.  Because it feels like an indictment.  And I know that.  Yet, I can't just let everything slide.  Being mean spirited, disrespectful, unkind.  Those can't be allowed to flourish.
I'm flummoxed.  I want to do it well.  It's hard to change....especially for the young men.  Because there model is their dad, not me.  I feel......heartbroken.  I am standing my ground on something with one of my sons in as kind a manner as I know how.  But, he blames me.  He won't apologize.  He won't speak to me.  He's punishing me.  Hmmm....seems so familiar.  I'm sure that's why it hurts so very much.
On yet another note...I hear my in laws are coming in a couple of weeks.  Trying to picture how that will look.  As if I don't have enough stress...
blessings.