Ex emailed me and said that he wants all of the Sundays in September. Then....two weeks into October. He wants to travel at Christmas. To have the kids on at least part of the day of Christmas as well. He also wants to meet with my aunt and uncle when they are traveling through our state.
So, I took a deep breath. And I wrote back. I asked him if he really meant to take all of the Sundays. And some other days too. I explained that the kids need some down time with me as well.
Then, turning to my aunt and uncle...I told him that they, and he, are free to meet with whom they choose. I told him that I, however, would not be meeting together to discuss our ended marriage and that i would not be giving them details to make them take "my side". Let him know that my aunt is completely in his corner.
I went on to say that I am done with being married. That what he does or doesn't do doesn't do doesn't change that. I'm done. Feels like I was on a tour of duty and survived. And yet, I have flashbacks....moments of pain. I wish that he could actually get what he has done to me. I told him that I am where I am in order to survive.
My heart raced. I was hot. Then cold. My head felt light. Had that overwhelming tired feeling. But, I DID IT. I said it. Fearful because whenever I bare my feelings like that, I get crushed. But working on remembering that what he thinks or feels doesn't have to crush me anymore.
I spoke the truth. Without malice. And, I'd like to think, with love Because he needs to hear....again apparently....that I have made my choice. That I take full responsibility for it. That I know that I was not without fault. But nonetheless.....he needs to hear how I really wasn't making it. He doesn't have to get it, but he does have to respect what I decided. Because it's my life and I had to choose how to live it.
blessings.
So, I took a deep breath. And I wrote back. I asked him if he really meant to take all of the Sundays. And some other days too. I explained that the kids need some down time with me as well.
Then, turning to my aunt and uncle...I told him that they, and he, are free to meet with whom they choose. I told him that I, however, would not be meeting together to discuss our ended marriage and that i would not be giving them details to make them take "my side". Let him know that my aunt is completely in his corner.
I went on to say that I am done with being married. That what he does or doesn't do doesn't do doesn't change that. I'm done. Feels like I was on a tour of duty and survived. And yet, I have flashbacks....moments of pain. I wish that he could actually get what he has done to me. I told him that I am where I am in order to survive.
My heart raced. I was hot. Then cold. My head felt light. Had that overwhelming tired feeling. But, I DID IT. I said it. Fearful because whenever I bare my feelings like that, I get crushed. But working on remembering that what he thinks or feels doesn't have to crush me anymore.
I spoke the truth. Without malice. And, I'd like to think, with love Because he needs to hear....again apparently....that I have made my choice. That I take full responsibility for it. That I know that I was not without fault. But nonetheless.....he needs to hear how I really wasn't making it. He doesn't have to get it, but he does have to respect what I decided. Because it's my life and I had to choose how to live it.
blessings.
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