Good morning.

this is what i awoke to this morning:

• 
  

  
  

  • Hey, I know that it is weird not to give the low down. However, nearly everyone I know, knows him. Would it help at all to know that B***** has been hearing exactly what's going on for nearly two years......not sure if it will, but at least maybe you'll know that I have been seeking wise advice.
    Regarding your work with youth...don't know if you know that your niece is 47....you know, pushing that 50 mark.
    I'm not miffed. I'm hurt. J***  has a way of being very charming. He has his whole family and I have very few to call my own in the world. It took me a very long time to decide partly because I knew that I would most likely walk alone.
    Appreciate your note. Still not dumping the info, but thankful.
    
    
    Response:
• • sounds good. 47! wow, your life's just beginning. We can agree to bury the ax. We're hurt too, you've always been something to brag about, so you'll have to go it alone and prove it was the right thing, knowing that your side of the family thinks it's a bad idea.......but we'll give you that freedom to make the decision. Love you always, xxxxxx
    
    
    After weeks of back and forth, the very best I got is that I "get" to go it alone.  What in the heck does she think I've been doing all of these years?  God has been faithful.  I have some great friends.  But she and that part of my family....ABSENT.  So, what changes?  Hopefully the fact that she will quit writing how I'm doing what is wrong against God.  Actually, I figure it will just go back to not hearing.  That's fine with me.  Because this was painful.  Mean feeling.  Perhaps it wasn't.  Perhaps my aunt really means it somehow kindly.  But, put with the rest of the posts, it is a basic, "you're wrong, I'm right, so I won't support you."
    How is it that we as christians think that we have that right?  Really?  But then I decided that perhaps she's reading the chapter about finding a brother in sin and that it's better to kick him out or something if he won't listen to reason.  Guess I've been told.
    I want to cry.  But I have to go to work.  I want to scream, but my kids are here.  I need a hug, but there are never any around.  Ok, a friend's husband awkwardly hugs me every time he sees me.  But...without the good benefits.  He feels obligated.  It's a little weird, but I know that he's doing the best he can.  He is my husband's good friend.  So...what's a girl to say?
    I'm just hoping that this post means that the "thread" is over so that I can quit being gut punched at unexpected times.  I was so excited to see that someone had written...I needed the word of hope.  Of kindness.  Ok, gotta not cry.  Deep breaths.  Daughter in my room.  one minute to leave...