I've been thinking about the quote about being someone's plan F and how it's not a good idea....but I realized something.
It's ok to be someone's plan F and to have them be yours. There are those kinds of friends in the world. The ones that we connect with every now and then when it happens to be convenient. We don't expect calls nor communication. They aren't that "kind" of friend.
But, the trouble and pain arises when those who our plan A have us as their plan F...or vice versa. Ya know, I'm not sure that I'm on anyone's plan most of the time anymore. If it's convenient. If it happens. But not in that place where it's "I choose you over these other things." And I have to be ok with that. I just have to remember that truth. And not be hurt by it. It's just what it is. Nobody can be convinced that another person is worthy of being plan A material. It just kind of happens. And what I'm learning is that it can also go away.
This separation has changed things. A lot. So.....there we are.
It's ok. I'm ok. I pout sometimes, but I'm growing up. I am choosing who to become. And if I choose to have someone as my plan A who chooses me to be their plan F then I need to decide that I'm ok with that. But, I don't need to keep wishing that I was their plan A. Or lamenting that I'm not good enough to move up the list.
Holidays. Weekends. Evenings. I hear people making their plans. I am in a holding pattern. So be it. I'm not going to go into some self changing mode in order to get anyone to want to connect. Someday it'll happen. Or it won't. In which case I'll just travel. ;)
I did fill out the eharmony form. Not to get a date. Only to get to know me better. That was good. Eye opening. Fun. I'm going to be just fine.
It's ok to be someone's plan F and to have them be yours. There are those kinds of friends in the world. The ones that we connect with every now and then when it happens to be convenient. We don't expect calls nor communication. They aren't that "kind" of friend.
But, the trouble and pain arises when those who our plan A have us as their plan F...or vice versa. Ya know, I'm not sure that I'm on anyone's plan most of the time anymore. If it's convenient. If it happens. But not in that place where it's "I choose you over these other things." And I have to be ok with that. I just have to remember that truth. And not be hurt by it. It's just what it is. Nobody can be convinced that another person is worthy of being plan A material. It just kind of happens. And what I'm learning is that it can also go away.
This separation has changed things. A lot. So.....there we are.
It's ok. I'm ok. I pout sometimes, but I'm growing up. I am choosing who to become. And if I choose to have someone as my plan A who chooses me to be their plan F then I need to decide that I'm ok with that. But, I don't need to keep wishing that I was their plan A. Or lamenting that I'm not good enough to move up the list.
Holidays. Weekends. Evenings. I hear people making their plans. I am in a holding pattern. So be it. I'm not going to go into some self changing mode in order to get anyone to want to connect. Someday it'll happen. Or it won't. In which case I'll just travel. ;)
I did fill out the eharmony form. Not to get a date. Only to get to know me better. That was good. Eye opening. Fun. I'm going to be just fine.
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