Who Will Speak For Me?

I think that one reason that I have such a horrible fear of doctors offices and hospitals is that I feel that I will have no one to speak for me.  To advocate.  My ex would be there.  Eat the snacks.  Enjoy the lounge. He would watch the tv.  He was there.  But, not for me.  He wasn't my voice.  I still had to suck it up and try to get across what I needed.  Now, if I said, "go get me a blanket," he would do that.     But, noticing that I was cold or on empty on fluids or maybe would like a popsicle.....or whatever...nope.  And the big things he just never said.  Like, "she really does hurt because she wouldn't be this upset or quiet if she didn't......DO something."  No advocate.  I was his.  I advocate for many.
But all I could think last night was that I was too tired to argue about whether I should have a chest x ray or not.  My doc had said to get one.  The ER doc said nah.  I still feel like crap.  My leg hurts and I'm supposed to figure out whether it's up higher than before.  Whether it's up near the groin....well, now that I'm all nervous, who really knows.  I feel better laying down.  But, I need to make it through this week at work.
I will.  I know that I can.  Unless I pass out there...in which case, I guess the answer will be definitive.  I won't have to try to bully my way to get what I need.
I've noticed it in the medical world for years.  With my grandparents, with my friends...those without an advocate do not get very good care.
Who will speak for me?
No idea.  I am too weary to figure it out today.
But....I wish there had been last night.
blessings.