Thanksgiving

This is perhaps my favorite holiday.  I love the church service.  The pie.  The homey smells of food cooking. Mashed taters.  The games and naps.  I love Thanksgiving.  It's wonderful.  I have fears this year.  Really trying to relax about it all.  I need to solidify what is happening.  I want to be around my friends like usual.  All of my pretend extended family.  But it might not happen.  I know that my kids are hoping for it.  They have been talking about the holiday.  I'm trying not to feel pressure.  It's just....difficult.  I feel like I've made a decision that is causing my kids to be excluded in things that they love and count on.  Like there are no invites and people don't come over.  It's weird to have that be one of my greatest senses of loss.  But I have to face it as a loss.  It is.
But, I'm going to take a breath and make it what it means to me.  I'm going to hope that my needs are met on the social realm, but I'm not going to be angry or bitter if they are not.  I'm going to breathe.  I'm going to eat mashed taters.  I'm going to be thankful.  For this wonderful thing that I have.  Life.  Peace.  Hope.  Joy.
Now...gotta do something about health.  Worried.  And don't have time to worry.  As if it helps anyway. Think maybe prayer would be better.
blessings.