Christmas Morning.

Big log burning.  Coffee cake.  Coffee.  One dog is still in bed....she's a chihuahua and it's only 8 degrees outside...and she KNOWS it. ;)  Other dog is curled up by the fire and Christmas tree.  I'm in my jammies with a red plaid wool scarf around my neck.  Pretty jammies, I might add. Too summery, but comfy cotton.  I think that maybe tomorrow I'll get myself some slippers.  None of those isotoner things.  They were icky.  Ill fitting and not at all cozy.  I got a few pairs over the years.  I rarely ever wore them, but he kept giving them...always on sale this time of year.  I am so thankful this morning not to be opening presents I wish that I wasn't getting.  Not because I care so much about gifts, but because it was a constant source of pain.  He would buy something without thought to much but how much it cost....after he set his budget for his spending, he would look for what fit his budget, not what I would like.  Over the years, I finally got him to do it differently with the kids.  To give them something more.  And he began making certificates.  To go out to eat or to a bookstore.  It was much better.  It took several knock down drag outs to achieve.  Years.  But the kids don't know that.  I'm glad for that.  And, it suits his personality because he gets to be the center of attention with his wittiness as the certificates are read.  Well...the good news is that it has made a positive impact on the kids.  That makes me happy.
So, today has a lot of good in it.  No pretense.  For the first time in so many years.  Hey, and no  pictures while I look...like this. ha.  Get a little tired of that look!  Stay up until two am getting ready and kids up at six...if I said they couldn't get up earlier.  Last year I made it 7:30.  The teens...except for one...were relieved.
Have gotten a text from my second son.  A facebook message from my fourth.  I am doing ok.  Burning old phone books.  And whatever.  Going through stuff a little bit more.  Watching a little CSI.  Being nice to me.  Just being quiet and thankful for this day.
I got the text from a friend...inviting me to eat.  I knew that it would come.  She's my best friend.  But I had prepared myself for several days.  She needs to be the one completely loved on and spoiled and cared for by her kids.  Also needs to just revel in the presence of her babies.  Because she doesn't get them all at one time very often.  And never all to herself.  So this is a nice day.  And I will not take away from that.  And...it was easier than I expected.  Because deep inside I know what is right and what is selfish.
I am going to to keep on with how things are.  Cleaning.  Wrapping.  Maybe napping.  Maybe I'll see a movie.  We'll see.  No plan.  Just knowing that I have to do whatever it is that I need to today. Need to focus on being mentally and emotionally healthy.  For me.
blessings.....and MERRY CHRISTMAS!  I got the best gift of all.