my lover. my friend.

no.  i haven't met someone new.
i've grown again to sense the deep presence of someone from the past.  in my mind.  my heart.  my soul.  whispering.  holding on.  and i rolled over yesterday morning and said, "good morning, i'm glad you are part of my day. i really need you to help me today.  can't do anything without you."
and god smiled.
it was a wonderful morning.
because god promised to be my friend.  my father.  my husband.  my all.  he promised to be enough.  not that he ever intended to leave any of us without other humans.  that would be like saying that a finger or toe or eye or brain would be the same as having a whole body.  each are wonderful, appreciated, loved...but, it takes more parts to be complete.
i used to wake up every single morning with those thoughts.  always completely giving my day to him.  inviting him to lead.  being thrilled to look forward to what he had for the day.
it was.....delightful.
not striving.  not trying. not focusing.  not making good habits.
just a genuine.  full hearted.  not even planned.  the first thought.  it was beautiful.  freeing.
god.    is.    good.
and he hasn't held against me my being wounded.  love that too.
blessings.