one thing at a time

one thing down and on to the next. i kinda just want to go to the movies or something.  but, i do feel really good about getting stuff done.  really good.  like i'm changing from the inside out.  not just living where i was.  how i was.  moving on.
i have a lot on my heart these days.  constantly.  and i'm having to learn how to cope with some things that aren't going to change. but, i can change.  my mind. my thought process. my words.  my actions.  i can choose to be in places that are safe. i can choose to let go of things that harm me.
so, just like getting my house in order, one step at a time.....i will get my life in order.
it takes time.
it always shocks me how deeply and desperately wounded i was.  how i lived trying to make it while bleeding out.  trying to still give to those i love.
guess that explains why i need rehab.  i lived through something that i don't even know how to explain to people.  they smile and nod or listen but don't really tune in...because they've met him and he seems normal and outgoing and fun.  so i need to let them have their reality.  but in so doing, i need not to deny mine.
blessings.