Our lives are a journey that we walk together not in order to become "good christian women," but rather to draw near to God so that we can reflect His light to those around us. Our stories, our paths, our dreams and our message are all unique. But we hold hands and walk boldly, fearlessly......onward...creating joy, hope, faith and peace in our wake.

Monday, August 5, 2013

Productive

Letting go of fear and wondering helps me to be more productive.  I WANT to make my home mine.  I want to enjoy it.  I want it clean.  Stressed that it's so hard to get kids to help KEEP it that way, but not in a bad way.  Mostly, I'm just happy to see myself making progress.
This morning I almost gave up.  Looked around my yard, garden, every room in my house.  I was so disheartened with all of the work I have done and how unkempt it looks.  But then I thought how much I've done in such a short time and it gave me hope.  Looking at the good.  Choosing each day.  Giving myself the grace and time and kudos that I would give others.  That's hard.  I want to do it all and do it now!
Ordering carpet.  Replacing the dishwasher.  Replaced the water heater.  Thinking of what to do about the fridge that has a broken ice maker.  Fix or sell and put the money towards a new fridge.  Scrubbing the cabinets and the baseboards.  Contemplating painting.  Soon.  
Life is very good.  Though I still get a sense of sad lonely and wondering of how I could ever have ended up being the one that people turned away from.  I wonder why I have to have bitch status when really, I'm not.  I will go out of my way for people.  But.....still, not outgoing and charming.  Socially lacking, I guess.  Oh well.  Not that social anyway.
blessings.

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