Our lives are a journey that we walk together not in order to become "good christian women," but rather to draw near to God so that we can reflect His light to those around us. Our stories, our paths, our dreams and our message are all unique. But we hold hands and walk boldly, fearlessly......onward...creating joy, hope, faith and peace in our wake.

Friday, March 30, 2012

Processing Crap

Manure is not just what comes out of the cow.  It needs to be aged.  Or processed in a factory.  Same for rabbit poop.  It is too intense....too strong for plants in it's fresh form.  It can kill plants.  Or, at the very least, burn them.
The crap we deal with in life is the same.  It needs....processing.  That way it can become something that causes us to grow instead of just being a stinky mess to step in later on.  But that processing is rather hard.
I try to talk about what is happening inside of me.  But it is like being tongue tied.  It just seems so hard.  But that does not mean that I'm not working on it.  Praying through it.  Trusting.
And I know that the time is going to come that I'm going to thrive again.  It has been a long time of just surviving.  Thriving will be wonderful.
First things first.  Gotta make it through the crap.  And sometimes, it means spending time in it.  Just kind of sitting in the pain until the realization comes that it can't hurt you anymore.  That it has no hold over you or your life.  That's where I am.  And while I am anxious to move along.  I can't.  I shouldn't.  Because...it's a process.  There are things that just have to be lived through.  Processed.  So that the end result is something that brings growth.
I get it.  But it's still hard.  The feeling of having my breath sucked out and my heart crushed and my insides tied in knots....that pretty much sums it up.  But sitting with it is bringing strength.  Slowly.  Seeping.  But definitely there.
Hope you find a way to process your crap too.  Glad you are here.  You are in my heart.  And I'm praying for you.
blessings.

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