Change of perspective occurs when we do something that shakes up our lives. It's easy to get complacent or depressed or discouraged. Everyone has so much baggage. and so much hurt. and so many life experiences that require adapting and changing. it's all so complex. and it's easy to get bogged down. pulled into a fatalistic or negative viewpoint. easy to think that nothing will change.
and nothing will. if we don't change. the only thing i can possible change is me. so, i rented a jackhammer and pounded the hell out of a thousand pounds of concrete. and i tossed chunks of it into a dumpster. and it seems meaningless, i know. but it is healing for me. i don't have to stay where i was when i was married. i don't have to stay afraid. i don't have to think that things can't be done. god provides a way when i change my view and look at what is possible instead of focusing on the what ifs of the future and the hurts of the past. not saying that i don't have to deal with them. just saying that sometimes it's time to move along. to change what i'm doing. to make the life i want to have. sometimes it's time to get the big ugly thing out of the way. the thing you have been staring at and thinking is impossible for a very long time.
i felt like that when i filed for divorce. like it just finally had to be done. i had been working and trying and hoping and praying. i had wanted it to work. at all costs. i had to change my mind. not ALL costs. not of hope. or faith. or thankfulness. or safety. i could give up so much. but some things should be non negotiable. self respect. integrity.
today was a breakthrough day. i knew it was coming way back when i was at the coast. got back and there was so much to face and it felt so heavy. and it is. yet......today, i changed my perspective. i listened to that whisper of hope. i did the impossible thing. the thing that i've been walking around. ignoring. trying not to see. i moved my mountain. no, silly, not on my own. on my own, anyone will tell you, i'm wimpy. i hurt. a lot. beyond words. but god showed me yet again that he is enough. always. in every way. never a need he can't meet. never a job that he can't complete. even with me.
i even asked someone to help me with my rider mower today. i think i like this girl. i know i do. she had to go away for so long.
welcome back, sweetie....feel free to stay around. you are loved...and accepted....and i promise to do a much better job of taking care of you.
blessings.
and nothing will. if we don't change. the only thing i can possible change is me. so, i rented a jackhammer and pounded the hell out of a thousand pounds of concrete. and i tossed chunks of it into a dumpster. and it seems meaningless, i know. but it is healing for me. i don't have to stay where i was when i was married. i don't have to stay afraid. i don't have to think that things can't be done. god provides a way when i change my view and look at what is possible instead of focusing on the what ifs of the future and the hurts of the past. not saying that i don't have to deal with them. just saying that sometimes it's time to move along. to change what i'm doing. to make the life i want to have. sometimes it's time to get the big ugly thing out of the way. the thing you have been staring at and thinking is impossible for a very long time.
i felt like that when i filed for divorce. like it just finally had to be done. i had been working and trying and hoping and praying. i had wanted it to work. at all costs. i had to change my mind. not ALL costs. not of hope. or faith. or thankfulness. or safety. i could give up so much. but some things should be non negotiable. self respect. integrity.
today was a breakthrough day. i knew it was coming way back when i was at the coast. got back and there was so much to face and it felt so heavy. and it is. yet......today, i changed my perspective. i listened to that whisper of hope. i did the impossible thing. the thing that i've been walking around. ignoring. trying not to see. i moved my mountain. no, silly, not on my own. on my own, anyone will tell you, i'm wimpy. i hurt. a lot. beyond words. but god showed me yet again that he is enough. always. in every way. never a need he can't meet. never a job that he can't complete. even with me.
i even asked someone to help me with my rider mower today. i think i like this girl. i know i do. she had to go away for so long.
welcome back, sweetie....feel free to stay around. you are loved...and accepted....and i promise to do a much better job of taking care of you.
blessings.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Go ahead. Make my day. Leave me a comment.