Our home is in absolute and complete chaos. There is not a room, an outbuilding nor a place around the property that has been untouched. We have dug around, unearthed and determined what to do with thousands of things. Upon telling a young friend of how bad it looked, she said, "it looks like a happy mess." And it is. Because it is a messy HOME not a messy HOUSE. We are home. We may not be entertaining right now. We may not have it all together. But, together, we are getting a big job done. Dumpster in place. Garage sale advertised. Tomorrow we put the stuff around in the front yard from the house and the back....make signs....put up signs and put the address on craigslist. And after we do this sale, a wonderful thing.....we get to put our home in order. Home.
For the first time in many years, home feels....pleasant. Comforting. Hopeful. I like hanging out here. Though the mess is beyond my brain. But still, in the midst, in the middle, while all of this mess and chaos and going through....I feel......powerful. I feel like I am not a victim of the memories. Of the pain. I feel like I am taking charge of how my life is going to be lived out. I falter often. But instead of staying in the ick, I am choosing to get rid of it. To choose and be proactive to achieve and do what brings me peace and comfort in my own home. Clutter makes me antsy. I like stuff, don't get me wrong. But this is out of control. Stuff everywhere. Crammed in every little corner. Every box. Hey, we found toothbrushes packed up years ago! Used. We have found at least five completely full boxes of newspapers. I have saved memories from my kids' childhood. Those I don't regret at all. It's just the rest of the stuff....way way way too much. And I feel the burden lifting as we create this big mess. This big happy mess.
I have a home. It's a relief. I had a house. A house is good. A home? Priceless.
blessings.
For the first time in many years, home feels....pleasant. Comforting. Hopeful. I like hanging out here. Though the mess is beyond my brain. But still, in the midst, in the middle, while all of this mess and chaos and going through....I feel......powerful. I feel like I am not a victim of the memories. Of the pain. I feel like I am taking charge of how my life is going to be lived out. I falter often. But instead of staying in the ick, I am choosing to get rid of it. To choose and be proactive to achieve and do what brings me peace and comfort in my own home. Clutter makes me antsy. I like stuff, don't get me wrong. But this is out of control. Stuff everywhere. Crammed in every little corner. Every box. Hey, we found toothbrushes packed up years ago! Used. We have found at least five completely full boxes of newspapers. I have saved memories from my kids' childhood. Those I don't regret at all. It's just the rest of the stuff....way way way too much. And I feel the burden lifting as we create this big mess. This big happy mess.
I have a home. It's a relief. I had a house. A house is good. A home? Priceless.
blessings.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Go ahead. Make my day. Leave me a comment.