do you?

do you love me?
do you like me?
do you think i'm worth it?
do you wish that you could walk away?
do you feel like i'm a good thing in your life?
do you hope to know me for always?
do you find good in me?
do you see beauty in me?
do you?
because i am floundering.
unsure.
because i need words.
and i feel cut off.
and i only ask the questions in my head.
in my heart.
inside.
the words leak out in the form of tears.
caustic.
yet.
also cleansing.
healing.
true.
genuine.
because they are real questions.
they are the questions of my deepest fears.
do you think i'm enough to bother to stay?
do you stay because you are obligated?
do you sense my heart?
do you enjoy my company?
do you find happiness in my presence?
do you?
because i feel as if you would be more at ease without me.
as if i trouble you.
make you aggravated.
do you know that you're my hero?
do you realize that i trust you? even in the confusion.
do you know how much i appreciate you?
do you comprehend the blessing that you are in my life?
do you know how i want to keep knowing you?
do you feel troubled by that?
do you think that it would be easier if you were free of me?
do you stay out of a sense of past commitment?
do you?
because my heart is aching.
and i can't seem to get anything right.
i speak wrong.
act wrong.
every time i turn around i find that i've hurt you.
been insensitive.
foolish.
dense.
awkward.
i don't feel sure of you.
and that is a pain that cuts through my whole being.
because you matter.
you are valuable.
you are worthy.
you are special.
you are a friend.
a great friend.
and you matter.
you do.

grace.