i have been learning what words mean. not foreign words. just...regular words.
words like....can't....don't have time....
i have come to realize that when people say they can't or don't have time or are busy that it really means that they don't choose me. they are choosing someone or something else. bottom line is that we all have a given amount of time in any day, week, year, lifetime. we CHOOSE what to do with the time. what to work at. what to play at. and sometimes people do not choose us. they choose activities or others. they choose work. they choose projects.
and what i've learned is that for a few in my life i know that i am genuinely interested and committed because i choose them over other things. and today i realized that perhaps they just think that i have no other things when i do it......that i'm just fitting them around stuff when in reality i am choosing them over and before other things.
that's ok. i haven't found a place in life where i'm chosen first. where other stuff gets put aside. but it turns out that i'm ok with realizing it and getting over it. can't change it. i'll just enjoy what i'm doing. each day. and who i'm choosing to be around. and what i am accomplishing.
one day maybe ill be in the position that i am chosen. cherished. i don't mean romantically. i just mean relationally. with family. with friends. i am finding that my older children are learning this skill. i teach it more and more intentionally. put those you value ahead of other things. put aside other plans. put aside selfishness. not always. but do it to make someone feel valued. chosen. it's amazing how loudly it speaks!
so, now when i hear that people don't have time, have other plans are hanging out with umpteen others, have visitors, need to whatever....i know.....they are making a choice to do something that is not me. if that is the norm then i need to evaluate. perhaps i am not valued by them. not when it's now and then, but with some people, it's the regular, standard answer. if that's the case, i need to not be hurt. i need to hear what's being said and get real. "they're just not that interested in me."
sounds pathetic....but it's actually freeing.
blessings.
words like....can't....don't have time....
i have come to realize that when people say they can't or don't have time or are busy that it really means that they don't choose me. they are choosing someone or something else. bottom line is that we all have a given amount of time in any day, week, year, lifetime. we CHOOSE what to do with the time. what to work at. what to play at. and sometimes people do not choose us. they choose activities or others. they choose work. they choose projects.
and what i've learned is that for a few in my life i know that i am genuinely interested and committed because i choose them over other things. and today i realized that perhaps they just think that i have no other things when i do it......that i'm just fitting them around stuff when in reality i am choosing them over and before other things.
that's ok. i haven't found a place in life where i'm chosen first. where other stuff gets put aside. but it turns out that i'm ok with realizing it and getting over it. can't change it. i'll just enjoy what i'm doing. each day. and who i'm choosing to be around. and what i am accomplishing.
one day maybe ill be in the position that i am chosen. cherished. i don't mean romantically. i just mean relationally. with family. with friends. i am finding that my older children are learning this skill. i teach it more and more intentionally. put those you value ahead of other things. put aside other plans. put aside selfishness. not always. but do it to make someone feel valued. chosen. it's amazing how loudly it speaks!
so, now when i hear that people don't have time, have other plans are hanging out with umpteen others, have visitors, need to whatever....i know.....they are making a choice to do something that is not me. if that is the norm then i need to evaluate. perhaps i am not valued by them. not when it's now and then, but with some people, it's the regular, standard answer. if that's the case, i need to not be hurt. i need to hear what's being said and get real. "they're just not that interested in me."
sounds pathetic....but it's actually freeing.
blessings.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Go ahead. Make my day. Leave me a comment.