bone tired

i am so tired.  shaking that i'm so tired.  tonight i just needed some tlc.  good but hard day at work.  lots of expectations on me right now.  house is a wreck.  it is what it is.  i have a ton to do.  high expectations.  and there's no fairy godmother, no anyone that can make it all better.  i just have to take a breath.  i already took a hot bath, :)  get some sleep and take one thing at a time. all is well.  i'm just beyond reason tired.  too tired. and basically that is something that nobody sees.  i still have to parent.  i still have to work.  and i can't sit around and whine that sometimes i just wish that i had people around to do some of the little things...i've wished that most of my married life.  and now in the afterward.  i am good at getting things done.  at keeping on.  i think that i do it so well that some people miss that i have those moments when all i can think is, "doesn't anyone see that i need some help here?"  but, as always, it will pass.  i just soaked in the tub and reminded myself "one thing at a time, relax and know that all is well."  because it is.  this is just the feelings of a woman who gives with her whole heart.  an introvert who has spent seven hours having to speak to near strangers.  that really drains me.  i go all out.  i give a lot.  but it wears me out and i don't know how to explain it to people because i don't know how to explain my odd personality type.  to me, i'm normal enough, but i do realize that i'm different than most.  strange.  definitely not the extrovert that is fed by the interaction.  not shy.  just in need of this kind of time.  or time with just one or maybe two close people.  i am looking forward to this weekend with my daughter and friends.  i just want to relax and i know that i will to some degree...but i will also miss alone time.  as sad as that is.  some people...very few...i can be with and not feel that spent feeling...it's not work.  maybe it's because i don't have to make conversation.  quiet can be fine.  regardless of my silly quirks, i look forward to this weekend because i absolutely adore my daughter.  and she is really happy.  very happy.  now...all i have to do is pack and go to the bank and buy snacks...and work a full day.  no problem.  all will come together.  i'll unwind a little so that i can sleep...then i will sleep. and then i'll do this thing that is so very exciting for the young woman i am blessed to have as a daughter.  with a good and sweet attitude.  peacefully.  i choose that.  i can.  all is well.
blessings.