precipice

sometimes in my now, i forget that health precipice that is close by.  i forget to be careful.  i forget those things that i need to do.  not being under as much stress means that my body does immensely better.  however, there is still that residual fragility.  i know to work hard to stay healthy.  but, i forgot how easily i can fall over the edge into pain.  nobody has ever really known how much pain i can live in.  i function.  i go.  i interact.  but, finally in my life, i give myself permission to feel what i feel and how i feel and not worry about everyone else.  that's a good feeling.  very good.  i have not been doing too well the last ten days or so.  but, just giving myself time and taking it easy in the nights when the pain is the worst has helped.  i don't have to worry about the ex anymore.  he had trouble with it when i was in pain.  couldn't or wouldn't comfort and simply didn't care unless it affected him.  so, now i don't have that stress.  even when i hurt, i can relax and let it take it's course and not have to be on top of things for anybody.  but that doesn't mean that pain doesn't hurt.  but it's just for a time.  i will be ok.  and it does interest me that even in this it makes me just so glad not to be married to him anymore.  relieved.
gotta rest.  gotta be a great teacher tomorrow.
blessings.