By a Thread

Hanging on.  Or not.  Being held is more like it.  Lucky the thread is strong.  Holding me tight.  Though I feel like I'm rapelling over the open spaces.  Free fall.
Not a great afternoon.  Tough with kids.  House is a wreck.  Can't get my senior to send out announcements....or even address....or even ask if he wants help.  Sat down and showed him how.  Told him to ask if it was overwhelming.  Told him to let me know if he'd like my help.  There they sit.  Where they were.
Youngest son told me how lousy I am at being a mom.  That I expect everything of him.  That he does more than anyone.  I didn't yell.  I am thankful.  The painful part was how he sounded like his dad.  It hurt.  Quite a bit.
I told him that I understood what he was saying.  Understood that he was asking for respect because that is the place he is coming to in life.  I agreed to not ask anything of him.  For a month.  We'll see after that.  Guess I'll be hiring out for graduation.  I am totally overwhelmed.
Wish my kids would go away for a weekend.  I need to cry.  Work around my house.  REst.  Not be a responsible one.
WEary.