supporting a perpetrator comes in many different forms. silence. inviting. listening. agreeing. commiserating. siding with. not taking a stand. not standing for those who are harmed. wounded. it comes in the form of jumping in and giving an excuse or reason why the person has a right or reason to behave as they do. it comes by trying to play both sides.
my ex minimalized for all of our marriage his behaviors. then, he would have crying sessions and act worthless so that i would build him up. there was never any time that i felt secure. that it seemed like things were stable. any time that i felt happy, he was not content. and what it took to try to make him happy took all of my energy. life was not pleasant. i knew it that first week. he is not a nicer feller. he LOOKS nice. he acts nice to others.
well, time to quit whining. time to get back to cleaning and organizing.
my ex minimalized for all of our marriage his behaviors. then, he would have crying sessions and act worthless so that i would build him up. there was never any time that i felt secure. that it seemed like things were stable. any time that i felt happy, he was not content. and what it took to try to make him happy took all of my energy. life was not pleasant. i knew it that first week. he is not a nicer feller. he LOOKS nice. he acts nice to others.
well, time to quit whining. time to get back to cleaning and organizing.
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