Space Invaders

I learned about space invaders in the preschool this week.  You know, the kids that won't give others any space?  Too close.  Too tactile.  Too in your face.  Too.....lacking boundaries.  But, hey, they are three and four years old.  Practically babies.  I mean, some of them were probably nursing last year.  It's to be expected. 
But the people in our lives who invade our space are real...even when we grow up.  Some of them it's simply a social faux pas; they really don't know any better.  Yet, others use it as a power tactic.  To gain or maintain control.  This happens in my home.  It bothered me a lot.  Made me feel totally vulnerable...until I realized that that was what he was doing.  To show that he could.  To go up to my line...and cross it.  Subtly, usually.  Making me quake and tremble.  Acting all innocent.  But, I had used my words.  Had said what made me comfortable.  Yet, there we would be. 
This kind of space invading involves a lack of respect but it also involves a sense of being more important than the other person.  So, now I recognize it.  And, no matter what the words are, if the boundaries are not being respected, I know that nothing has changed except the means and modes of getting what makes him have a sense of being in control.  It's tricky because in those moments he can be speaking so much more sweetly....yet, I am completely suffering.  Words and actions should match.  Lifestyle too.  At least, to a degree.  When they diverge, there is discomfort as my brain tries to figure it out. 
I can handle all kinds of space invaders.  I have kids, for goodness sakes.  But, there is a manipulative kind that chills me to the bone.  It is the kind that is purposeful. planned, and makes me feel like I'm powerless.  Good news, I've learned a really important lesson here in my forties.  Note it.  Mark it down.  People who really and truly love ME have no desire to make me feel powerless. 
grace to you.