Didn't know that I would have the day of recktning quite so soon in my life. Also didn't know that the judge would be my husband. This morning he jumped out of bed when he realized that I was up with my boys to go to cross country. I gave him my baggy full of change and the check. His mouth dropped open. I told him that I said that I'd give him what I had....he said he needed more. I told him that I spent what I had in the bank on our eldest son yesterday and that he'd have to make do. And then he said that there was less in the bank than he thought......groceries, package to kid in Oregon, school lunches, you know...the usual culprits...oh, gas in a kid's car. He really wanted the money out of my bank ACCOUNT. Every month he has a reason...though he knows that I hardly had any when I didn't get paid what I was supposed to.
But, here is the good news. I faced the day of reckoning without backing down. Without remorse. Without shame. And....mostly, he wasn't able to guilt me. And, I'm shaking off the residue. Trying, at least.
I want to live free. Not in constant dread which is how I've lived for so long. Might as well start now.
grace to you.
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