A New Mix

Not a musical mix.  Not a baking mix.  A new mix of kids.  Oldest gone.  Next oldest gone.  Oldest related to middle.  Next oldest related to youngest boy.  Oldest was adored by his babiest sister.  And now....well, the middle is oldest.  And seeing as how the middle child is always striving to be noticed, to be better, to be regarded as much as they thing the olders and youngers are...well, now he IS the oldest and my oh my.  He's bossy.  He's opinionated.  He's trying to help.  He picks on the younger two.  Especially the one who is our baby boy but is now....you guessed it....a MIDDLE.  So, the new middle has to pick on the baby girl in order to try to re-establish some sense of still being the baby. And the baby is defending her territory with great gusto.  Yes, it's chaos and bickering.  Yuck. 
But, I was being patient.  Then, tonight I lost it and yelled at the tow youngers.  They have just spent the last half an hour communicating with one another.  Talking.  Asking questions.  Having conversation.  Good practice.  I hardly ever yell.  I have yelled twice in the last month.  I have one son that completely does not hear, register your presence or think that there's a problem if you don't raise your voice...and I still hardly ever do it.  Usually my kids are so.....easy.  I know that they have been thrust into a new life too. I get it.  I understand the dynamics.  I will not allow them to be unkind, mean spirited nor inconsiderate of one another.  I WILL hold the standard higher than that.
Because, at the end of any day, while they might think that the others are annoying, a pain, whiny, irritating, stupid, obnoxious, mean....whatever...they would still be devastated of anything happened to one of the others.  Because I know something that they don't even always realize....they LOVE each other.  Fiercely.  Not always affectionately.  But with a loyalty that will remain.  Now, they just need to learn how to SHOW it. 
Better be praying for me.  It's like getting a classroom that has been allowed to run wild for a few weeks.  But, I can do that.  And, I can do this.  Hopefully with no more yelling.
grace to you.