Switched Identities

Both pretenders?  He and I?  Wow.  Really?  The one thing people said about me back in my college years was that I was genuine.....and "wise beyond my years." Snort.  How's that for humble.  Ok, here it is.
When I was young, middle school aged, I volunteered at a school for the severely handicapped.  I had a few good friends.  I helped a suicidal friend.  I was on student council.  I sang in choir.  In high school, I had a few good friends.  I volunteered at an elementary school.  I worked with kids at church.  I had a mentor.  I sang in choir.  In college, I was on the BSU leadership team.  I went on missions trips.  I was a sunday school director.  A sunday school teacher.  A prayer partner.  A bible study leader.  A masterlife class taker.  I took care of people's kids for free.  I mentored youth.  I was a youth minister.  I had a few good friends.  I wrote poetry.  I went on a semester missions trip. 
I have always been giving.  I know, it doesn't sound very humble.  But, I have a point to make.  I lost that sense of myself because I allowed him to take credit for all of those types of things in our lives.  Because, the one thing I'm not really is an extrovert.  And so, letting him have the credit didn't really matter to me.  If it was really me that gave something or convinced him to do something...it didn't really matter, did it?  But, it did.  Because it wasn't him.  Strangely, he had never sang in choir....and now he does.  Which is fine...he's REALLY good.  But, it got all messed up.  I made him look good.  Built him up.  Let him have the accolades.  And he took them.  And....he believed that he was better than me.  Still does.  Last conversation he said so.  I don't need a bunch of praise.  But, when the one who doesn't possess those characteristics takes those accolades for himself....it turns things upside down.  False reality. 
I know who I am.  I want to be her.  I like her.  With all her weirdness.  She makes me comfortable.  So, I'm going to quit giving her to someone who uses her.  Gonna take back my own identity.  Because it was a gift to me and I shouldn't have given it away to begin with.
grace to you.