Him. Us.

I just can't figure out how it is that my husband was never assimilated.  Lack of desire seems to be the key.  The rest of us are like a puzzle fit together...making a family...but he seems to like the idea of family without the emotional investment nor the attachment.  I can't say that he doesn't care.  I think that he does.  But he cares as things revolve around his life.  For instance, my daughter had a meeting tonight...it begins 15 minutes before a meeting that he has.  He simply will not take her ON TIME.  She hates to be late.  I drive her brother that has to be there 40 minutes earlier, turn around, get her and take her back.  However, if he HAS to be somewhere, it's a huge deal to get going...not for choir and such, he walks in when he wants.  It's the little things that speak to kids.  To people.  Especially within a family.  The willingness to put somebody else first.
A friend asked me a long time ago what if neither person is willing to give in and do something for the other.  I had said that they would end up divorced.  What I didn't realize is that even if ONE of the people isn't willing, it still doesn't work.  It's imbalanced.  Warped. 
But what is weird is that it actually causes him to have the bad feelings towards us.....jealous.  Wants the best things.  Want to be "popular" with the kids.  But he doesn't want to put in the effort at building a relationship.  They were very young when he quit hugging them.  Now, he tries.  But, it's pretty tough.  But, he just won't let them know that no matter what happens, no matter what they do, no matter where they are....that he will be there for them.  He won't let me know that either.  Because....he won't be.  Simple as that.  If it's convenient.  If it's what he wants to do.  If it makes him look good.  But if it just meets a need, I can't count on him.  And, sadly, his kids don't.
There has been him and us for so many years.....I had wanted a we.  Now, I don't anymore. 
I'm frustrated with him today.  Sure it shows.
grace to you.