Another Son Going

Today, another son is moving out.  I lost a lot of sleep over it last night.  Happy for him.  Will miss him.  My "big" family is dwindling quickly.  Only three kids left at home.
Last night I answered the phone when my mother in law called.  Told her he was moving.  Talked a minute since her son wasn't home.  She wanted to talk to the kids.  Asked my oldest if I was chasing him out?  Crazy.  Helping him achieve what he has been wanting to do for over a year?  Yes.  Chasing?  No.  Pushing a bit?  Yes.  He is scared.  And happy.  Nervous.  Sad.  Excited.  Thrilled.  And it's all his.  All his life to live.  Without someone breathing down his neck.  Without anyone to blame.  His choices.  His cleaning...or not.  His money.  His decorating.  His lifestyle.  I hope and pray for him to choose to be Godly.  To seek his Father.  But, ultimately, it's up to him.  Completely. 
Letting go hurts.  Like slowly ripping of a bandage from a really tender owie.  There's just no way to make it not hurt.  Even though it's a good thing.  He's ready.  Needs to be on his own and test his ideas and ideals.  Needs to see how it is to live on a "real" budget.  Needs to get the sense of accomplishment from making it on his own. 
He will be fine.  He will be close. 
He will always be my first born son.  I'm going to miss having all of my kids around.  And I'm going to be amazingly proud too.  It hurts so good.
grace to you.