Needing Space

My oldest son is wonderful.  But, I am needing space from him.  It's hard when they are too old to "mother" but they are still living in your house.  He needs to go and see how it is to live all on his own.  Not in a dorm.  Not in his parent's home.  He is getting complacent and wasting too much time in the world.  He works full time and goes to school....but, he has ceased even cleaning up after himself, though he still lives with the illusion that he does.  And, I love him enough to let him go figure this out on his own.  Not easy, but important. 
And, I just need some space.  Some time without him around all of the time.  It has been over a year now, and it's just difficult.  Not because I don't enjoy him, because that is far from true.  It's because he is home when I am and leaves when they others get home...so, I never get alone time.  I get to clean up his somewhat empty milk glasses and plates.  He has homework.  And work.  He "is" doing it... is what I hear.  But, he isn't.
It is time for him to move out.  Time for him too.  I think that it depresses and regresses young people to hang on at home.  They need to spread their wings and get out their cleaning supplies.  They need to scrub the toilet and make a meal....or 20.  They NEED it.  Because in the doing, there grows appreciation.  So, here I sit in my living room having already worked hard this morning.  Sweeping, mopping, dishes, laundry...you know the drill.  And, I want to write and maybe read for a bit.  Alone.  Maybe cry?  I don't know.  Just want to be alone and I am so weary of having to flee to get what I need. 
He needs space to grow.  And I need space to heal.  Hope he gets this apartment.  It would be nice for everyone.  His brothers need to have a chance to make their own space too.  It's their "turn".  It's time for his other brother to be the "oldest"....to have those privileges and responsibilities.  So, I have helped.  I haven't given an ultimatum.  But, if he isn't out within the month, things are going to get a lot less comfortable.  It's not because I don't love....it's because I do.  I don't want him to learn the wrong things.  Like how to use a situation instead of making something work toward making his own life.  So, I'll try to relax for the next couple of hours before he goes to school.  Try.  Not easy.  A little aggravated that he is having to be pushed to do anything these days.  But, I'm going to let him figure that out.  Unless he doesn't go find a place.  Then, I'll think of something better.  My mind is already working.
grace to you.