Ok, my mama never said that there'd be days like this because I was too little to even imagine being a grown up. But, if she had lived, I'm sure she would have. But I don't think that I would have believed her. I never would have believed that I could have survived a day like today. I am now sitting at the airport waiting for my son to be sure that he'll get to board his flight...he is on the concourse, I am in the terminal.
Went to the court facilitator today. Oh my gosh. I feel like I've been wrung out. I'm exhausted. And after all of that, I had to pick up my kids from school. Take my one son and be sure to tell him what was going on before his dad did...because I knew that he'd need that. Make dinner. Manage to eat with the family....WITH MY HUSBAND THERE!!! Get my son out of the house to drive him to the airport...stop to say goodbye to his brother. And now I honestly need a blanket and a cup of tea and some privacy. I am wiped. Seriously. I can barely face getting in the car to drive. I drove myself to and from the meeting and I was shaky. Now I'm like jello. And I still have to go home and face him being there. And I'm supposed to work tomorrow. At a new school. I know that I need to make the money...but frankly, I am terrified. Just need the time. Worries me. But I'll see if I can suck it up.
I barfed my stuff all over a friend today. I started to cry But I haven't simply let it go...I won't be able to stop if I do. Give me a few hours. Or so. And some time to yell. I'm sad. I'm angry. I'm hurt. I'm pissed. I'm stunned. I'm nearly comatose. And did I mention that I still have to drive home from the airport and be all ok?
Yikes. I'm usually able to pull it together. But right now...I'm so done.
So tired. So sick feeling. Having to eat under such circumstances...after he the prayer. I was working so hard to hold it together that it felt like I would explode. Four at the table knew. Two did not. Awkward.
He talked to my college son. Blah. Blech. Grouse grouse.
Ok....I should drive. Before I can't.
grace.
Went to the court facilitator today. Oh my gosh. I feel like I've been wrung out. I'm exhausted. And after all of that, I had to pick up my kids from school. Take my one son and be sure to tell him what was going on before his dad did...because I knew that he'd need that. Make dinner. Manage to eat with the family....WITH MY HUSBAND THERE!!! Get my son out of the house to drive him to the airport...stop to say goodbye to his brother. And now I honestly need a blanket and a cup of tea and some privacy. I am wiped. Seriously. I can barely face getting in the car to drive. I drove myself to and from the meeting and I was shaky. Now I'm like jello. And I still have to go home and face him being there. And I'm supposed to work tomorrow. At a new school. I know that I need to make the money...but frankly, I am terrified. Just need the time. Worries me. But I'll see if I can suck it up.
I barfed my stuff all over a friend today. I started to cry But I haven't simply let it go...I won't be able to stop if I do. Give me a few hours. Or so. And some time to yell. I'm sad. I'm angry. I'm hurt. I'm pissed. I'm stunned. I'm nearly comatose. And did I mention that I still have to drive home from the airport and be all ok?
Yikes. I'm usually able to pull it together. But right now...I'm so done.
So tired. So sick feeling. Having to eat under such circumstances...after he the prayer. I was working so hard to hold it together that it felt like I would explode. Four at the table knew. Two did not. Awkward.
He talked to my college son. Blah. Blech. Grouse grouse.
Ok....I should drive. Before I can't.
grace.
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