Invisible. Unheard. Ignored. Alone.

This is not my finest moment.  As I sit at a Safeway, computer battery dying.  Having driven around and not willing to go home.  And not willing nor really able to spend the hundred bucks on a local hotel.  Exhausted beyond belief.  Knowing how alone I really am in the world.  Sure my face is a mess since I bawled while driving all of the country roads....afraid to be on the interstate because I was crying so hard.  And here I go again....I am  trying to get up the courage to make one more night in the house.  I just can't. I'd rather drive all night.  At least I am free to cry.  Turn up the heat.  And know that nobody will come in.  I nearly went to the women's shelter...drove by.  Not sure how that works.  And I'm thinking that you probably have to be in danger.  Of something other than losing your mind.
He doesn't hear me.  I need separated.  But I need to figure out how to be patient.  Because if I can do this right and he doesn't "contest" then I've got my separation without more fighting.  I just need Saturday to come.  Like yesterday.
Guess I better get off.  Battery is really low.  And weird people pulled into the parking lot.  Hey, but now I know....safeway has wifi.
grace.