I have found tonight that I am appalled by people's versions of how or why people should get support from their church. The prevailing view is that people have to be present, living up to expectations and seeking the help. But, people in pain, people who are ill, people suffering grief, divorce...they don't have the energy to reach out. They certainly don't have it in them to explain and make excuses for why they are not living up to a standard.
I am...saddened. I said something in my ladies group tonight to someone who pointed out that people who "disappear" should not blame the church for not reaching out. But, I disagree. I feel that you shouldn't be able to disappear from people who genuinely care without them caring enough to be there. Even if you aren't walking in a way that they wish that you were. Even if you are hurt. Angry. Lashing out. Drinking. Plummeting.
Not that we can't hope and pray for people. But, I think that we have lost the idea of the church body being a place for the sick...they people Jesus said He came for. I think that we have gone back to being as the Pharisees...that we are all well and that the needs are kept "out there". Certainly sin can't be within the church. Certainly people in the church can't be suffering from abuse, pornography addictions, drug addictions, lack of intimacy, loneliness, depression, being cheated on, cheating. No. No. No. Not in "our" church. And if they are having such a hard time in their marriage or life, then why don't they show up more often? Why do they simply stop coming? Don't they know that they should be faithful?
It's a rough place to be. I know. I've been on both sides.
I remember a family that had a husband contract a debilitating disease. They just disappeared. They were abandoned. I was a part of that.
I know multiple people who have suffered divorce. Bad marriages. It's all ignored or they people eventually disappear...or at least one of them does so that things can return to "normal."
Tonight, a friend of mine said how this man shouldn't have disappeared from church all of these years ago...and shouldn't blame the church for not "being there" if he didn't stick around. His wife cheated. He had a difficult marriage. So did she. Who do you tell about that at church? It's not a safe place for that.
I want to be a defender of the hurting. We'll see. I might still be too hurting to do it. But eventually. Because the world is broken. And relationships go wrong. And people die. And grief happens.
blessings.
I am...saddened. I said something in my ladies group tonight to someone who pointed out that people who "disappear" should not blame the church for not reaching out. But, I disagree. I feel that you shouldn't be able to disappear from people who genuinely care without them caring enough to be there. Even if you aren't walking in a way that they wish that you were. Even if you are hurt. Angry. Lashing out. Drinking. Plummeting.
Not that we can't hope and pray for people. But, I think that we have lost the idea of the church body being a place for the sick...they people Jesus said He came for. I think that we have gone back to being as the Pharisees...that we are all well and that the needs are kept "out there". Certainly sin can't be within the church. Certainly people in the church can't be suffering from abuse, pornography addictions, drug addictions, lack of intimacy, loneliness, depression, being cheated on, cheating. No. No. No. Not in "our" church. And if they are having such a hard time in their marriage or life, then why don't they show up more often? Why do they simply stop coming? Don't they know that they should be faithful?
It's a rough place to be. I know. I've been on both sides.
I remember a family that had a husband contract a debilitating disease. They just disappeared. They were abandoned. I was a part of that.
I know multiple people who have suffered divorce. Bad marriages. It's all ignored or they people eventually disappear...or at least one of them does so that things can return to "normal."
Tonight, a friend of mine said how this man shouldn't have disappeared from church all of these years ago...and shouldn't blame the church for not "being there" if he didn't stick around. His wife cheated. He had a difficult marriage. So did she. Who do you tell about that at church? It's not a safe place for that.
I want to be a defender of the hurting. We'll see. I might still be too hurting to do it. But eventually. Because the world is broken. And relationships go wrong. And people die. And grief happens.
blessings.
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