on a positive note

i am learning something about christians that isn't too pretty.  some of them...alas, perhaps a lot of them....feel that being negative and critical are more spiritual than being upbeat and positive.  i don't know why.  judging between right and wrong shouldn't be mistaken for judging people...their motives...their lives.  it feels like an awful lot of people look around for bad things to talk about instead of finding the blessings.  goodness knows that my life provides them some fodder.  but...i'm not sure that it's spiritual.  i know it's not kind.  it feels like people are trying to be so spiritual that they have forgotten that god came to a common world with common problems.  that he sees the basic things and doesn't look for us to be super christians.  he isn't even interested in looks.  he's interested in our hearts.  he's interested in growing us.  he's interested in causing us to become the men and women that he can use to change the world.  not by our gifts and perfection...no..by our weaknesses.  he doesn't need us to show off.  he needs to show off within us.  within the messy realities of our lives.  when we fake it or make it look good when it's not, that is living a lie...and living a lie doesn't leave room for him to show his greatness.  his greatness is so far above me.  i don't even think that i can imagine it on a good day.  there is nothing to which to compare it.  no analogies that could ever be adequate.  but somewhere along the way...maybe even from the very beginning?....the church has made it a habit to look good on the outside.  the belief within really bad marriages is that the way god works is to make you survive while everything looks ok to everyone else.  no mess.  no mess on the outside that is.  but inside, people die. spirits become hopeless. and those looking on don't see anything that looks remotely like how they feel and so each and every one also feels isolated and like the only one.....like the only failure.  divorce isn't a good thing.  but there is a time for it.  a time to be apart.  there is a time to let god use the deepest weakness, the deepest sense of failure...not just to help others, but to help me.  to show me who he is.  to woo me with his amazing love.  to let me know that no performance is required.
the church needs to look for positive notes.  to look for the good.  the beautiful.  the lovely.  the excellent.  we need to quit tearing at one another's failures and start seeing what god is about doing.  our focus needs to shift from performance based to grace based.  we need to remember that no sin...even the "vilest offender"....is less evil in god's comparison to his own perfection.  so trying to look right or good is only a slap in his face.  we are not.  he is.  and he is willing to give us his righteousness  to clothe us with his own character.  but somehow we keep going back to pretending that we have it on our own.  and for ridiculing others for failing to have it.  it's that competitive, sibling rivalry?
i don't know.  i do know that i see more negative, unkind things from christians than i see from non christians.  that i see less true compassion from christians than i see in the world in general.  the world in general seems to understand the complete depth of need whereas the christian realm seems to feel like we should behave as if we've arrived.
we are all on a journey.  we can choose to look at the potholes and the dirt or we can choose to see the beauty all around us.  every day.  every gift provided by god.  to us.  who don't deserve it.  who fail in thought and deed.  if i'm going to fail in my dealings with people, i think that i'm going to try to fail on a positive note.  on being too encouraging.  too kind.  too full of grace.  for me, that beats the alternative.  but i have to get out of the mindset of being negative and unkind when people aren't living how they should.  i am not a person, by the way, who thinks that positive thinking IS god.  i just believe that because god exists and loves and provides, i can focus on him and his blessings and his goodness instead of all that is wrong.
let's all dance to positive notes today...in the midst of the crazy disharmony that occurs within life.
blessings.