theme of my life. at least where the ex is concerned. i don't know why it's so very hard today. but it is hard today. it is what it is. simply put. it's hard. it's icky. but it is. and reality is better than fantasy. but i think that perhaps the grief involves anger with him today. that i have a sense of the injustice that i lived with. and am having a hard time with the fact that it is perpetuated by the current charade of his.
i read what john piper says about women and ministry. i listened to his podcast. he says that women know a lot, have a lot to share and that men can learn from women if they listen but that women should never be in a position to teach or instruct a man. that women can instruct women. and children. if the bible says women can't lead then isn't it strange that they are allowed to lead the young? shouldn't men do that too? seems convenient. and...his words...made me feel again as a failure. fail. to submit. to follow. to stay. to do what he wanted. john piper says that men should love well. that women should follow. that women are beautiful and have their place.
now, i never have viewed myself as a feminist. i stayed home with my kids. i think that genders each have their own strengths as a general rule. and yet....i am an equalist. i believe that jesus made us all equal. that he SAID it. that he lived it.
but, my heart is heavy.
my church sent people to a conference at this man's church. his viewpoint makes me uneasy. it is everything that held me captive those twenty years. because men are not called to be the men that women can follow....it's a sad thing. it would be nice if it were true.
he used an analogy. a woman cannot be the drill sergeant in the army, telling men what to do directly. but, it's ok if she is the city planner and designs the streets that the men will drive on and follow.
breathe.
i did fail. i know that.
but i don't agree with the idea that it's because i didn't submit enough. it was because i submitted too much to viewpoints and an ideology that was harmful to me.
just sad today.
i read what john piper says about women and ministry. i listened to his podcast. he says that women know a lot, have a lot to share and that men can learn from women if they listen but that women should never be in a position to teach or instruct a man. that women can instruct women. and children. if the bible says women can't lead then isn't it strange that they are allowed to lead the young? shouldn't men do that too? seems convenient. and...his words...made me feel again as a failure. fail. to submit. to follow. to stay. to do what he wanted. john piper says that men should love well. that women should follow. that women are beautiful and have their place.
now, i never have viewed myself as a feminist. i stayed home with my kids. i think that genders each have their own strengths as a general rule. and yet....i am an equalist. i believe that jesus made us all equal. that he SAID it. that he lived it.
but, my heart is heavy.
my church sent people to a conference at this man's church. his viewpoint makes me uneasy. it is everything that held me captive those twenty years. because men are not called to be the men that women can follow....it's a sad thing. it would be nice if it were true.
he used an analogy. a woman cannot be the drill sergeant in the army, telling men what to do directly. but, it's ok if she is the city planner and designs the streets that the men will drive on and follow.
breathe.
i did fail. i know that.
but i don't agree with the idea that it's because i didn't submit enough. it was because i submitted too much to viewpoints and an ideology that was harmful to me.
just sad today.
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