Full

I am full of thankfulness.  Of joy.  I see good.  When I look in my garden, I see beauty.  When I look at my patio, I see comfort.  When I look in my home....well, I see people.  But some people don't see what I see.  They see weeds.  They see the crookedness of the stones.  They see the messy floor or the unfolded laundry.  And I struggle.  NOT with how I feel.  Not with what I believe.  But with the many years that have worn me down and caused me to feel like perfection is the goal.
I've decided that I want a goal of grace.  Not perfection.  I want to live and be comfortable not worry about what people are thinking every two minutes.  I want to love and give and receive from people who really like me for who I am.
Really.  Without having to make allowances for me.
Because that's how I am with people that I love.  I want to be spectacular in their eyes.  Not perfect.  But worth it.  I really don't want people in my life who have to try to accept me or love me.  I just want it to be something they can't imagine not doing.  I want to be someone that matters.  Not because my garden is right...but because they can appreciate and see the beauty that I see.  Even if it's not how they would do it.
I'm on this topic because the big party is almost here and I am having to "settle" on some things not being done.  Period.  And that needs to be more than ok.
I am full of seeing good.  I only freak out when I try to look at things like I know some do.  "Oh, that is crooked, that is messy, that is frayed, that is...." and that is when I panic a little bit.  But that's not who I am.  I am full of hope.  Of seeing good.  Of thinking good things.  And for that, I am happy.  It makes for a beautiful and amazing life.
But....I hope they aren't offended.  Maybe they'll just notice the food?  Hope it's good. ;)
blessings.