lord, do i make a difference?

sometimes i wonder if i make a difference
i am so...odd
different
weird
and sometimes i wonder
if i really make a difference
or if the world even notices i'm here
or simply tolerates my eclectic self
and i wonder
if i could watch life
my life
from above
removed
like a movie
what would i see?
who am i?
am i who i could be?
am i enough?
do i love in the way that shows people how wonderful they are?
do i lift them to a higher place?
do i cause them to know that they are valued?
do i give the courage?
do i cause them to become a little more of who they are supposed to be?
or am i a thorn?
an annoyance?
a fly buzzing 'round?
i wonder.
because that's who i am.
i always
always
always
long to uplift
but i'm quirky
different
strange
and so i wonder
is who i am
the treasure
that i find in others?
i don't know.
i don't worry about it.
i just
wonder