sick

i have been so sick.
i hurt so badly.
my tummy is bad off.
a dry cough if i exert.
headache.
eyes hurt.
exhausted.
chills.
yep. probably the flu.
i have spent two days home alone.  in bed.
i turn on shows...but fall asleep.
i sleep.
i wake up and check my computer to see that the world is still going. :)
then...doze off again.
up to bathroom...tottering. needing to run.  but not able.
my head reminds me that i'm sick when my body forgets...
aching and throbbing to any sound.
and yes, i've been alone.
my son did make me a can of soup last night.
i made myself some frozen burritoes at lunch today because it was easy and i wanted something warm.
huge mistake.
water.  i've had it.
no ginger ale.  that's ok.
no sherbet.  you know, from childhood?  that's ok too.
no car to go get it.  too weak to go in the store if i did have a car.
just sleeping.  dozing.  even when i'm awake, it's not fully.
exhausted.
in pain.
hurting.
and i was thinking about the alone part.
it has actually been easier than being married.
because he couldn't handle it when i was sick.
needed me to still meet his needs.
so i guess that this has been a luxury.
because i am able to simply sleep.
to order in dinner for my son without guilt.
it's a little sad to consider a life after my kids.
when there won't be anyone to heat a can of soup.
but...i'm ok.
i've almost made it through this.
another "milestone".
now.  more sleep.
grace to you.