Being Nice

I like being nice.  Hate to be grumpy.  Really.  Drives me nuts.  I am a generally happy person.  Stress is hitting me hard today.  The knowledge of the looming weekend.  So, maybe I can kidnap myself?  I just don't know what to do.  Stressed.  Don't want to dread going home.  And I do.  Don't want to dread spending my birthday there.  But I do.  Reality can really suck.  I'm trying not to feel guilty about the feelings I have.  Trying to just let them be feelings.  To give myself permission to feel.  Not so easy.  I am much better at getting busy.  At fixing it so that I am doing something else for someone else.  Facing how things are can be painful.  But, at the same time, strangely freeing.  To finally give myself credit and not hold it all in.  Although, I have to hold it in in my daily life.
That's the hardest thing.  Not being able to explain to people.  But, that is ok.