Life As I Know It

So, had a phone conversation with the husband tonight.  Were talking about a tree that needed to be cut down.  Some nasty bugs and such.  And, actually, the conversation was going pretty well and I was so relieved.  Then, we finished talking about  the tree and he says, "I've been wanting to talk to you about something...." or words like that....and I am wondering what it's about.  I figure it's about the fact that my birthday is tomorrow and we are celebrating on Sunday.  "Well, it has been awhile since we've had the brakes checked on the van." 
"Oh, yeah."  and my heart begins to pound.  Well, do you have money so that we can get the radiator fixed and have the brakes fixed?  My stomach clenched.  Every time he talks to me for any length of time, it always comes up that I apparently have money from my job that I am hoarding.  But, I am not.  I wish I was.  As it is, I am going to work another job to go on a trip.  But, he thinks I do.  So.  Well.  "No, I don't." 
"You don't?"  "No," I want to shout, we've talked about this over and over, "I use the money that I keep to buy the kids clothes, to pay for the groceries when I run out of the money I get for the month." 
He has to be assured all of the time that I don't have money of my own.  It's creepy.  I want to have money of my own.  I want to take the kids and go somewhere.  I don't want to take him.  It's too stressful.
Coming home tonight was the worst ever.  Wish it wasn't.  Wish it was happy to come home.  But, I'll sleep.  I hope.  And eventually, the weekend will be over. 
I really do wonder at the idea that on my birthday weekend the conversation I got was why I wasn't handing over my money.  I do have a little bit.  Not much.  Enough to do something tomorrow. 
Maybe I will get an iMad to add to my iPissed.  But, come to think of it......I think I'll just get an iHappy.  What the heck, might as well get an iJoyful while I'm at it.  iPeaceful.  iPretty.  iSilly.
Ok, on that note, it is definitely time to go to bed......