Today

Nothing like a little panic in a day.  I am going to be in so much trouble.  An offhand comment made about his competitive nature.  It'll be my fault.  Even though I didn't make  the comment.  Ya know, it'll go one of two ways....I hope I get ignored.
Pretty sure that it's not supposed to be that way.  Whatever "supposed to" means.  Is it weird to think that there would be hope to be somewhat amiable? 
It's funny because I once found a website called heartless bitches and I felt so guilty about reading it.  Like it was so awful.  Strangely, it was about much of what I'm talking about now.  Not about being a b**** but about how women are viewed if they stand up for themselves.  That's how I feel.  Like by standing up for myself means being considered a bad person.
Today a really good thing happened.  Someone sent me a personal bill of rights.  It made me cry.  Made me wonder how they knew to send it.  God is pretty amazing.  Meets my needs.  Even when I can't seem to reach out.  Ya know, today I did.  I asked for something I needed.  And it happened.  And it filled my heart.
How do I face nights?  And now he says he's taking off the one weekday that I have off.  I am devastated.  He looked gleeful.  I know he knows.  Knows it hurts.  Knows I flee.  He's not stupid.  Why would he want to hurt me?  Why won't he let me be in my house?  I was sssoo looking forward to getting up later that day.  Or getting up early and doing what I wanted. 
I am so stressed.