mashed potatoes...hold the gravy

today was a really fun day.  the meal was outdoors.  and, as people were drifting away, my friend grabbed a spoonful of taters...minus the grave, thank goodness...and flicked it at me.  hmmm. i maturely just allowed it and the meal went on.  NOT!  i grabbed a handful of tatoes and retaliated.  with joy.  well, she smushed them in my face.  in my hair.  i tossed them at her.  ok, a deviled egg may have been smushed on her too.  it was very satisfying.  so much fun.  my life is so much better.
new traditions.  new habits.  new thoughts.  new.  change.  scary stuff.  and exciting.  learning to laugh for real again.  today, i had this moment when everything relaxed.  i felt it.  a physical sensation.  and the realization of how long i had to hold it all together for events.  my face.  my shoulders.  my body.....it all just kind of relaxed.  it was great.  hopeful.
blessings.