Ok, I'm staying up much later than I intended, but that is because I am working on being peaceful. On calm. On getting rid of the knots and kinks and coldness that have overtaken me. And you know what? I can. It's difficult. Unnerving. Painful. Yet, possible.
And for that, I am happy. My eyes hurt. I wish that I had a car tomorrow. Trapped. Hate that. But, overall, I am learning that even when I desperately needed something....like this day, my first day at home in a long long time....and when it doesn't happen.....I can do more than survive. Well, at least, I can survive and then maybe, as time goes by, maybe I will be able to quit allowing it...him....to devastate me.
I got his message that he's not as bad as some people. Snort. Stupid excuse.
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