Unbound

Pulling off duct tape HURTS.  It sticks hard.  To itself.  And to whomever is unfortunate to be taped.  Uncomfortable.  Can be skin removing.  Hair removing.  The only thing worse is staying duct taped.  Because it's helpless and hopeless feeling.  It binds not only the body, but the will to keep trying to move.  To keep trying to be free. 
I have spent many years being duct taped.  Figuratively.  But getting untaped hurts just the same.  And it's a process.  All of the tape doesn't come off in one nice piece.  It sticks to itself and it sticks to my body.  It hurts.  But I desperately want to be unbound.  I want movement and freedom. 
In an attempt to do so, I take baby steps of movement.  I gingerly rub my bruised areas and try not to sit still in my restraints...having given up.  I choose not to give up.  Though I am very tired.
When I say not giving up, I mean not giving up on who I am.  Not giving up on hoping that I will be able to walk head tall and face smiling in this world....while my heart and soul feel the same way.
My husband doesn't even seem to get how fully he decimated me.  Or maybe he does and what he doesn't get is how I am becoming unbound.  A little at a time.