Work

I like having a job.  But, I remember the first time I had to get one after I'd had children.  My husband wanted me to after my fifth child was born.  She was only a few months old when I went to work at a donut shop.  It was hard on me.  And, less fun because there was no point to the money.  There was never an option to give some.  Or save some for something fun. 
I have realized that I can do a lot if I reward myself with the things that I need.  Everyone has different needs.  Besides for those basics.  For me, I require time away.  Time to vacation.  Time to check out.  Absolute need.  And that usually requires some money.  Which, being in my household, has been problematic for years.  Until I started having money to do it.  And then earning the money to do it.  I also like and need to give.  To keep my hands open.  To receive.  And to give.  To be willing to see other people and their needs and not always be totally consumed by my own financial worries. 
Right now I'm working and going to be working a lot of hours.  but with a goal in mind.  Several goals, actually.  I want to be independent.  I want to be able to take care of a house payment.  Insurance.  Phones.  Internet.  Kids.  Water.  All of it.  I don't want to have to be dependent anymore.  Because that hurts me.  In many ways.  I'm always made to feel badly.  And that affects my health as well as my emotions.  So, I need to make a better decision and do that instead.  And, I want to help others while I'm doing it. 
I like having a good attitude about work.  Though it's hard.  And tiring.  And sometimes boring.  Or frustrating.  It is a learning time.  A growing time.  And it allows me to have more freedom. 
My body is killer in how much it hurts.  But there is this huge joy that keeps me going.  It's like SEEING hope.  What a blessing.
And really, I only have a certain amount of years left before they will be wanting to retire me, so I need to take advantage of this opportunity. 
I am blissfully worn out.  I think I will go sleep.  To awaken earlier than I should have to in order to get out of my house and feel safe....that's a bummer, but I keep looking forward to the day that that won't be true anymore.